Jeffree Star: My Opinon

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Okay, so I am a couple months behind on this Jeffree Star situation. Before I start my post, I’m going to say a disclaimer: I, just like everyone else in the world, am entitled to my own opinion. I can say what I think and even if you don’t agree that is fine, but I will not be disrespected for who I am as a person. Not everyone will agree with this post, and that is perfectly fine. I just wanted to share MY thoughts and MY opinion.

Myspace is where I first found out about Jeffree in the year 2006. I remember being so intrigued my someone who was genuinely proud of being an outcast. Hollywood Undead was one of my favorite bands and I was super excited when they collaborated on a song together. Jeffree’s profile made me so happy. I remember logging on and wanting to see his new posts and pictures. I felt like he was my friend…it was refreshing to see someone who was themselves and was proud of it. Unlike Jeffree, I was not comfortable in my own skin. I felt alone a lot, and was bullied by my peers for liking ‘weird things’.

As opposed to a lot of others in my school, I loved alternative music. That made me weird. Me having winged eyeliner (way to much at the time) made me weird. Me teasing my hair and wanting coon tails made me weird. I was just being myself and I was bullied because of me being me.

I may sound like I am getting sidetracked, but to touch back to Jeffree, he really made a difference in my life because I felt like he was the epitome of confidence I wish I had.

After I survived high school (barely hanging on, really uncomfortable with my skin..) I started college and “grew” into myself in 2011. Jeffree went MIA for while but I still always liked his social media platform and appreciated his albums.

Fast forward to 2015 – My best friend calls me and tells me Jeffree is coming to Austin, Texas for beauty classes. I’m SO down, I was super stoked! I even put color in my hair and practiced my makeup over and over again because I wanted to look great for  him. I looked up to him, he was an idol and was an icon in my eyes….He STILL is.

Meeting him and attending his beauty class was AMAZING…he was so down to earth and sweet. He let us ask him questions about everything we wanted to know. Emerald and I got there super early and we were the first two girls in line! I was so excited to see him. We ran to the front so we could be up close and personal with him.

Months pass and I see a blowup on social media about him being  bully…I’m annoyed with everyone. You all dissing him act as if you have never said anything bad about anyone in your life. Living in the spot light is different then the reality we live in. People pulling tweets left and right from 2007,2008,2009….It is 2016. I realize what he said was not ok and I won’t ever justify what he said…but he owned up and apologized.

None of you are saints. None of you are pure 110%. Shame on all of you for bullying him for OLD actions that clearly do NOT reflect who he is as a person now.

As a fan of his, I was disappointed, but forgiving. I am not a saint and have said some things I should not have. I know Jeffree is NOT a racist. There were people of color at his beauty class and nobody was treated differently. I am a mixed person and a woman or color and never felt like Jeffree looked at me differently.

I was disappointed in Kat Von D for dragging Jeffree under the bus. I understand her not agreeing with things he said…but seriously. How professional for you to put a picture of him with a NO symbol on YOUR instagram..knowing you have MILLIONS of followers….thinking nothing would come out of it…Childish.

I love Jeffree Star and will continue to support his brand. I know he is a wonderful person. I have to thank him for letting myself out of my shell for years. I wish I could give him the most proper thank yous, but I know my support and love will suffice.

 

xo,
Ambz

Personal-

I’ve been neglecting my website. I’m sorry y’all.

At this time in my life I have been experiencing a lot of change. The change has been good and bad, mostly good though. If someone asked me to list all of the things that have changed in the past 6 months I would take forever to name all of them and I honestly have forgotten some of the changes (that were for the bad, so it doesn’t really matter)

These past few months I have really strengthened my relationships with my close friends. When I look back at all of these people, I feel incredibly blessed. I know that sounds extremely cliche, but I really don’t know how else I am supposed to say it. I have been through some hellish events in my past and a lot of these friends have dug me out. Some of them have saved me from temptations and devils that always try to take me over again. It feels so refreshing waking up and knowing I have those friends to count on. Temptations and devils will always run across your life and although you may be strong enough to fight against them, having a support system is extremely helpful.

Also, I have started a new bond with someone that has been in my life for a couple months now, and things are going wonderfully in that department. I’ll keep that low-key for now. I can reveal this person is starting to become extremely important to me, and although they have been for a while, the importance has intensified because of the time we have spent getting to know each other. It’s honestly weird to like someone. I’m not use to it. I’ll post more about us later.

My family and I became closest when I began college in 2011 but more recently I have felt like I can open up to my parents about more topics that I was scared to discuss with them before. I feel like I can really understand these are the people that created me, raised me and shaped my entire character until I found out how to do it myself. I have also found myself keeping a close relationship with my brother and my cousin. Another time for me to be cliche, but if you are lucky to have siblings or cousins, keep a good relationship with me. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve called my brother when I was breaking down and he lifted me up. Same goes for my cousin. She really pulled me out of some bad times to.

Life is good. Relationships are key.

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– Ambz

 

 

5 Things I learned in 2015

Yes, I understand this post is about a month late. Oops…I guess I just wanted to secure my thoughts in January of what I learned this past year. There is my excuse for the late post. Take it or leave it. Or click the red X button in the top left corner of the screen. No please don’t, I enjoy your company.

Kind of.

Jk, Love you. Here we go, 5 things I learned in 2015.

1. Make sure you take care of yourself.
I stayed single all of 2015 and I think that really taught me to sit back and make sure all my ducks are in a row before trying to fix someone else’s ducks. My ducks are usually everywhere and I kind of like it that way, but sometimes I really need things to be a certain order. I got my school all arranged to start taking classes on campus this semester (ONLY 9 CLASSES LEFT TILL I GRADUATE HOLLA!!!), I quit my job of 5 years (It was a bittersweet feeling), 8 days after my last day at the restaurant, I landed a Media/Web based job that I use my skills I’m learning in college in real-life and I finally am at a healthy weight! I feel like I really tried to step back and make sure I was okay and not focus on the negative and really focus on the positive. Also if you’re reading this, drink water. Hydrate yourself Gina.

2. Focus on the positive things in life.
Someone will always have it ‘better’ than you do but someone will also have it worse than you. The reason I put better into quotations is I feel like the word better is based of perspective. Someone may be richer then you money wise, but poorer then you when it comes to self-love and relationships. I realize there are people that are richer than me in U.S. currency, and their bank account surpasses mine, but with my relationships with my friends and family make me extremely rich and blessed. Thinking about this makes me focus on the positives in life.

3. Good things fall apart, for better things to come together.
We’ve all been in that situation that we think “This is it, this is the person I am supposed to be, by God’s grace they can do no wrong…” and then they do you wrong. This thing that I learned can be used in several different aspects, such as getting laid off from a job or breaking off a relationship (romantic or nonromantic) that you thought was going to last your entire lifetime. Now I used this in many different aspects in 2015. My ex and I broke up in November of 2014 and I continued to be sad in 2015. He was my first ‘relationship’ in about 2 years, so of course I was devastated when he dumped me, even though he had cheated on me throughout the entire course. I realized after being sad and bringing it into 2015 I did not want to start the new year out that way. I met so many wonderful people in 2015 and even though I didn’t come into a better relationship (yet), I still did many things I would not have done if I was still with this person.

4. Stand up for yourself.
Ahhh, back to my good ol’ ex-boyfriend. Most of my ex-boyfriends treated my shitty, but it was half my fault because I put up with it. Through out 2015 he harassed me and would try to start drama, liking all my instagram photos and trying to talk to people that would comment on my stuff. He’d call me from blocked numbers and text me from apps. Just talking crap. I finally stood up for myself, told him off and to back the hell up, or I’d get some seriousness involved. I stood up for myself and didn’t listen to me when he told me I wasn’t worth shit. This guy literally put me through a heartbreak and made me feel like I was nothing even though he was the one who had cheated on me.

5. Don’t knock someone down to rise yourself higher
I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum on this one. I don’t know which one sucks more, the fact that I stepped on other people to “rise” above. I put quotations around the word rise because I never rose higher by doing such thing. When I was knocked down so someone else could go higher, it made me feel inhumane. Like I was some sort of object. Nothing good ever comes from either sides. It is one thing to distance yourself from someone bringing you down and from knocking them down. It is perfectly ok to take yourself away from people that are full of negativity.
This year was definitely a game-changer. I know it sounds cliche, and me saying it’s cliche, sounds cliche, but whatever. (Points if you know who said that in one of my favorite shows ever*) I feel likeI really kicked ass in a lot of things this year, I accomplished a lot and had many new experiences and opportunities. Everyone has a past and everyone has a future. In all reality it is up to you to change what you need to change to get it together. Sometimes you’re already on your way to the right path and sometimes you are so far away from it. I have been in both places and it is a wonderful feeling to finally feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing in my life. I went through many ups and downs in ’15, just like everyone. However my highs were extremely high, and even though I had some lows, the highs made up for it.

There you have it. 5 things I learned in 2015. There are many other things I learned but I thought 5 would be a great number.

Love you
Ambz

 

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♡Boots♡

Super Duper Amazingly IN LOVE with these combat boots I snagged from Target!

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They were 34.99!!! A definite must have for Fall and Winter. I’m technically “cheating” since I am wearing them already and it’s still as hot as the devil’s house in Texas, but I’m hoping by me wearing them, Texas gets the hint 😉

Xo, ❤️
Ambz

♡ FALL NAILS ♡

HEY BABES-

I apologize for the lack of posts…I started classes again and have been super busy :(. I’m working on it, I swear. Anywho, Happy September! Fall is just around the corner for most people. Here in Texas, it’s still about 104. I’m not letting this heat stop me from my transition into Fall though! I went to get a fill and decided to go a dark, plum color. The color is from OPI (my absolute fave nail polish brand) and the name is “Everyday Is Oktoberfest.” It has a bit of orange shimmer, and it looks so great with gold accessories. I plan on keeping my nails this color for a while, if I change it up, this color will definitely be a color I will be coming back to this season! Gold ring is from Forever 21 and silver/bronze is from Charming Charlie.
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🙂 xo,
Ambz